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Sunday, September 30, 2018

THE THREE 'LEGS' OF REAL MANHOOD

I don't know if this administration is one of the last kicks of white male patriarchy, aka white male assholery, or whether it's a serious comeback. I want to believe the former! But in any case, I suggest that such assholery is the absolute negation of what I understand to be REAL manhood. And in this post I'll say a bit about what I understand to be the three legs of the tripod of true manhood.
1) INTEGRITY: Your habit is to speak what you have seen to be true and just. You speak out against bullies and speak out against those who bully others before yourself. If possible, settle the hash of such rotters yourself. But understand having your ignorance be made plain is NOT bullying you; then it befits you to ask questions as to what you may be missing! In NO CASE do you lie to a woman in order to lie with her or try to inebriate her to the same end! And remember: real men apologize if they've done wrong or have made mistakes. It's the overgrown frat BOYS who can't or won't do so! You make a habit of the truth--NEVER of lies!!
2) RESPONSIBILITY. You make a decision and abide the consequences. Real men may and should seek to mitigate the ill effects of a bad decision (especially to others) but don't make excuses--and learn the difference between excuses and real explanation! Acknowledge your part in mistakes without varnish. Again, real men apologize and do what they can to make real amends to others affected by such decisions. You do not build yourself up by tearing down others; rather when you build up others who are struggling you may find you build up yourself as well!
3) COURTESY. Unless someone has already shown his/her assholery already, let your language be civil and courteous to all--to a janitor as to a judge. The flip side of this is making it clear, when faced with assholery, that's what's happening.
A real man does NOT allow his hormones to overrun someone else's stated boundaries but rather is master enough over his hormones even to the point of being able to halt them like braking a car just in time. But if you feel you're being dishonestly 'played with', especially by a girl or woman, civilly take your leave and GO. If they want to know why, tell them. If they still try to snow you, then leave. If they genuinely try to apologize or explain honestly, feel free to reconsider. Otherwise, withdraw! Take differences of race, ethnicity, orientation, etc., in stride and do what you can to bridge such gaps. This is done usually by careful listening and asking of questions with a frank acknowledgement of your own ignorance in the matter at hand.
This may be the beginning of something larger; I don't know if I'll have more to say on this matter, but suffice it for me to say: three things, and only ALL these three things together, make a man out of a boy, overgrown or otherwise: INTEGRITY, RESPONSIBILITY and COURTESY!

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